One Hot Month in the Cold - My First Norway Trip

I was right! There are polar bears everywhere on the streets in Norway! The only difference between them and normal polar bears is that they look like humans and are called "Norwegians". But the behavior is the same. :þ

I have found Norwegian people to be of the "rough with a big heart" kind. For my French standards, they're totally rude. They're gruff, unemotional, and have this hard vibe in them. It is in their manners, in their language, in their faces, everywhere. I like it. It is sexy. Lots of very beautiful people there. Behind the icy toughness wall, I have found them to be warm-hearted, genuine and friendly. Those I got to know better revealed themselves as extremely charming, lovely and very funny people. I laughed even more than usually there, and had a lot of fun!

It is a shame. I spent one month in Norway and did not see one single fjord! I stayed only in Oslo and in a town called Seljord that is in a rural area of Vest Telemark. I did not do much sightseeing. I saw mountains in Seljord, but did not climb on any. At least I went for walks in the snow, there was lots of it. But my landscape admiring was very limited. Same when I was in Oslo. I went to see a nice park and climbed on the roof of the opera, but did not have time for the viking ship museum or any other cultural stuff.

The main focus of the trip was clearly people. Of course I spent time with Víkþóri whom I hadn't seen in months, but also met some wonderful new people. Some I already closely knew online or had heard a lot about, so I was happy to meet them in person at last. Others were previously completely unknown to me. I spent most of my time focused on getting to know them better and enjoying their company. There are also people that I would have loved to meet but did not have the opportunity to. I hope to see them next time.

Going to Norway broadened my horizons and pushed me out of my comfort zone in many ways. I did things I had never done before, like juggling, wearing a strap-on during sex, giving Soul Realignment readings in person, writing Norse in runes or hugging several persons at the same time. I also did things that I am totally scared of, for example singing. A lot happened. I met very sexy men, two of which I immediately fell in love with. I was forced to dance salsa, to wrestle, to spy on the naked neighbors, and to watch two and a half Austin Powers movies, which was really hard. I got drunk from drinking half an alcohol free beer. There was an extraordinary connection while dancing with my friend Tarjei, lots and lots of cuddling, hugging and happy loving moments, a spontaneous session of collective cross-dressing, a big heartbreak, hot sex, and some challenging situations. It was awesome.

Unfortunately I didn't learn much Norwegian. But hearing it every day was such a delight! I was happy and fulfilled. I tried to pretend that I was Norwegian when shopping alone, but it never worked. I used all the right words, said "Hei" and "Ja takk" or "Nei takk" when they asked "Blablablapoosa" (which means if I want a bag) and "Hav det godt" when leaving...  but they just heard the weird accent and replied in English. Damn! Tarjei said that I am also way too short to be Norwegian and that my clothes looked too foreign. No Norwegian in their right mind would wear a bonnet with holes in it, he said. Oh well.

I also discovered Swedish when I met a Swede called Michael. I had never heard Swedish before and swooned every time he was speaking it. It is way softer than Norwegian, and very sexy. When he was talking with me in Swedish, I didn't understand a word but just closed my eyes and felt happy. It felt like he was caressing me, when maybe he was talking about doing the laundry? Maybe I just find Swedish so sexy because Michael is such a beautiful and sexy man, I don't know.

This trip definitely was a deeply transformational experience. I feel that I came back as a different person. There just was not enough time. There are so many things that I didn't get to do! Now I am more than ever in love with Norway. I want to go live there as soon as possible.

Even though they don't seem to have much of an ecological consciousness! It was pretty much impossible to find any organic food outside of Oslo, and even in Oslo there wasn't much. I was also shocked when I saw the huge amounts of plastic that they use to package everything they sell, especially fruit and veggies. Every single lettuce comes in a plastic box with a plastic bag around it. And the garbage does not even get properly sorted and recycled. I don't want to know how much waste they produce every year.

And the weather? Oh yeah. Big shock when I arrived. I realized that my "winter coat" is a joke there. So are my other French clothes. Stealing a big woolen pullover from Víkþóri helped. I don't like wearing wool (it's not vegan) (and it itches and scratches) but I was just desperate.

My lungs were hurting because of the cold air. I tried to walk barefoot, that was bearable for ten or fifteen minutes but more was impossible. My feet weren't used to shoes anymore and started to bleed and hurt when I wore some. My lips suffered a lot too. I had to give up on my cold showering habit. As I have discovered, cold water is not equally cold everywhere! The one in Norway is evil. I even went back to sleeping on beds, mattresses and couches instead of on the floor because I was freezing my ass off at night.

After a while of bitching around about the weather, I surrendered. Fortunately, I had taken my big hiking shoes with me. I bought a few pairs of really warm socks to go with them, wore pants and a long skirt one above the other and adopted the stolen pullover as my daily companion. Wearing hiking shoes together with a gothic skirt definitely offends my sense of style, but I didn't care.

In the end I got used to the cold. I even loved it! Cold, gray, wet weather has always been my absolute favorite anyway. I very much enjoyed taking walks in the snow. I love snow, skies of steel and this biting cold when the temperatures go down to  -10 or -15°c. The last week, I was disappointed when it was only -8°c. I even loved the four little hours of real daylight and the fact that it's completely dark at 3:30pm. It's cozy. This way the evening lasts for many hours. I like evenings.

Now the plan is to focus on completing my Soul Realignment course, then start my business as a practitioner, and as soon as I can afford it, emigrate!