Darn. Failed right on the very first day.
Everything was going fine, then suddenly I went out, bought some canned beans with tomato sauce, half a baguette and a box of chocolate, and ate it all at once.
I have no clue why I did that. There was lots of raw food in the kitchen, and I wasn't even really hungry.
Maybe I'm just scared as hell? I feel now the same way I was feeling right before quitting smoking. It feels like being about to die. In some way the old me will die indeed. I can understand that I am scared of jumping off the cliff. But maybe that's just an excuse. I am dead addicted to cooked food.
I don't even feel upset at myself. My stomach is hurting and I feel sluggish, and just think "Oh well, I'll try again tomorrow".
I didn't eat enough (only about 500 calories worth of fruit). Tomorrow I'll try to eat more.
"I am dead addicted to cooked food." - How about replacing this thought with something positively reassuring that might allow you to rid the habit?
ResponderEliminarSomething positively reassuring, like what?
ResponderEliminarOr perhaps you can just dont mind the thoughts that say this is difficult, or even this is easy, or this is like this or like that. Just begin.. and feel what is coming in the moment the come. Be aware of the thoughts, the feelings, but dont mind them so much. Just my 2 cents...
ResponderEliminarYou know how much I love the present moment awareness way. When you are physically addicted to something, in my experience this approach does not work well, though. Your body just goes CRAZY and your mind will do ANYTHING to make you indulge. It would take Buddha-level awareness not to mind much or act on that.
ResponderEliminarI am not Buddha. So for me at my current level of awareness, it is more helpful to be honest with myself and to admit that it IS difficult and it IS an addiction. Sometimes we just need to call a cat a cat. Denying what is is never helpful.
The belief that it is difficult and an addiction is not the same as the belief that it is impossible to escape this addiction! Difficult things can be done, addictions can be healed.
I prefer to see it as a battle to be won, with a smart strategy and some effective tactics - and some lost battles along the way. :þ My aggressive side, maybe. ;)
Then I wish you a good fighting, Ninja Rose :D And don't even think to lose this one!! ;)
ResponderEliminar