I've been wanting to develop my intuition for a very long time now. About a year ago, I bought Unlock your Intuition by Andrea Hess. It's not just a book about intuition, it's a practical guide to accessing it accurately and reliably. I kept forbidding myself to work through it though, because I had "more important things to do".
However, I kept feeling strongly drawn to working with this book. It turns out that those "more important things" do not nearly mean as much to me as getting in touch with my intuition, training my psychic abilities, or learning fun things like telepathy and energy healing. I cannot explain why, but I'm feeling incredibly fascinated by all this. One of my major motivations for going raw, along with health reasons, was to be able to enjoy better psychic communication.
So I have now given myself permission to develop my intuition. I'm already about halfway through the book. The next exercise is to ask my Higher Self at least twenty questions every day for two weeks. Isn't that a perfect opportunity to create a new habit? I'd love to do intuitive work every day! Not just for two weeks.
This coming month I will communicate with my Higher Self every day, either completing some exercise from the book, or just chit-chatting and asking random questions. It's just about getting comfortable and gaining confidence in my intuitive abilities.
I already got a few very surprising answers. Of course I intend to act on the intuitive information I receive. I'm very much looking forward to seeing how things will unfold.
I'm so excited!!!
What about my other habits?
I'll talk about the muscle building habit in my next strength training report.
The dancing habit and the walking habit are both getting boring. I have to admit it. My fitness has improved, it's just not a serious workout anymore. I need something else.
I've started cycling again since my friend Tom found a very nice bikeway to the sea. I love cycling, so I think I'll replace walking with cycling. This way I'll still have one endurance activity.
As for dancing, I'll replace it either with dancing with a partner (if I manage to find one at last), or with some combat sport. I'm also considering climbing, but I'd need a partner for this one too. Or rugby, if I find a team that accepts women. I think I'll go for some combat sport.
What are your new habits? :-)
domingo, 19 de abril de 2009
martes, 14 de abril de 2009
How To Sprout Stuff, for Beginners
Sprouting is easy. It works like this: soaking, draining, rinsing.
Step 1: Soaking
Let your sprouting material soak for one night in cold water. One tablespoon seeds should be enough, as they grow much bigger when they sprout.
If you can, buy organic sprouting material.
Those are special sprouting glasses. They are very practical, but you don't absolutely need such a thing. Normal jars are fine too.
In the picture, the green things are mung beans, and the red ones are adzuki beans.
Step 2: Draining
In the morning after the soaking night, drain the water out of the glasses.
Now you can see why sprouting glasses are convenient.
Step 3: Rinsing
From now on, rinse your sprouts twice a day: just fill the glass with cold water and then drain it. Do it once in the morning and once in the evening.
If you are using normal jars instead of sprouting glasses, please drain them carefully, or else your sprouts could mold.
Keep mung beans in a dark place (for example inside a closet). Other species enjoy light. Avoid direct sunlight though.
After some time (a couple hours to a couple days), your stuff will start sprouting.
If you sprout beans like these, they'll drop their green/red skins during the process. Remove the loose ones. Same for sunflower seeds.
And soon the sprouts will be ready.
The time it takes until your sprouts are ready varies. It can take one day or five of them, depending on what you are sprouting, and also on your taste. Some sprouts taste differently as they grow older. Just experiment and find out what is best for you.
You'll find detailed information on appropriate soaking times and rinsing frequencies for each kind of seeds online. In my experience, one night of soaking then rinsing twice a day works for pretty much everything I sprout. I have no experience with sprouting grains and pseudo-grains, though. If you think the sprouts have a too strong or unpleasant smell, rinse more often.
What to sprout?
You can sprout all kinds of things:
small beans (adzuki, mung...)
other legumes (lentils, chickpeas...)
nuts (almonds...)
seeds (sunflower seeds, sesame...)
veggies (mustard, radish...)
grains (wheat, rye...)
pseudo-grains (quinoa, amaranth, rice...)
Truly raw nuts can be difficult to find. Sprouting them is a good method to find out if they're raw: it will only work if they are.
Do NOT sprout large beans (kidney, soy, fava, pinto, navy...). These are toxic!
Is sprouting ethical?
The only problem I have with sprouts is that I always feel sorry for eating them. It's magical to see them suddenly awaken to life, unfold, and, if you wait long enough, grow little leaves. Instead of eating them I'd rather plant them and see them grow. I always feel like an ogre raising cute little babies to devour them. :-(
Step 1: Soaking
Let your sprouting material soak for one night in cold water. One tablespoon seeds should be enough, as they grow much bigger when they sprout.
If you can, buy organic sprouting material.
Those are special sprouting glasses. They are very practical, but you don't absolutely need such a thing. Normal jars are fine too.
In the picture, the green things are mung beans, and the red ones are adzuki beans.
Step 2: Draining
In the morning after the soaking night, drain the water out of the glasses.
Now you can see why sprouting glasses are convenient.
Step 3: Rinsing
From now on, rinse your sprouts twice a day: just fill the glass with cold water and then drain it. Do it once in the morning and once in the evening.
If you are using normal jars instead of sprouting glasses, please drain them carefully, or else your sprouts could mold.
Keep mung beans in a dark place (for example inside a closet). Other species enjoy light. Avoid direct sunlight though.
After some time (a couple hours to a couple days), your stuff will start sprouting.
If you sprout beans like these, they'll drop their green/red skins during the process. Remove the loose ones. Same for sunflower seeds.
And soon the sprouts will be ready.
The time it takes until your sprouts are ready varies. It can take one day or five of them, depending on what you are sprouting, and also on your taste. Some sprouts taste differently as they grow older. Just experiment and find out what is best for you.
You'll find detailed information on appropriate soaking times and rinsing frequencies for each kind of seeds online. In my experience, one night of soaking then rinsing twice a day works for pretty much everything I sprout. I have no experience with sprouting grains and pseudo-grains, though. If you think the sprouts have a too strong or unpleasant smell, rinse more often.
What to sprout?
You can sprout all kinds of things:
small beans (adzuki, mung...)
other legumes (lentils, chickpeas...)
nuts (almonds...)
seeds (sunflower seeds, sesame...)
veggies (mustard, radish...)
grains (wheat, rye...)
pseudo-grains (quinoa, amaranth, rice...)
Truly raw nuts can be difficult to find. Sprouting them is a good method to find out if they're raw: it will only work if they are.
Do NOT sprout large beans (kidney, soy, fava, pinto, navy...). These are toxic!
Is sprouting ethical?
The only problem I have with sprouts is that I always feel sorry for eating them. It's magical to see them suddenly awaken to life, unfold, and, if you wait long enough, grow little leaves. Instead of eating them I'd rather plant them and see them grow. I always feel like an ogre raising cute little babies to devour them. :-(
lunes, 6 de abril de 2009
Raw Vegan Strength Training
As you know, I dream of being very strong. The new habit I'm adopting this month is "at least five minutes of strength training every day". Things are going great so far!
The second project I have for my body is weight loss. I've had mixed feelings about both my overweight and the idea of losing weight in the past. I wanted to lose weight, but also refused to lose weight, thought I couldn't lose weight, but should lose weight, and simultaneously didn't care about my weight! Consequently, my weight has been going up and down in a quite chaotic way. But now that I'm befriending my body and getting to love it the (overweight) way it is, I find myself better able to formulate clear wishes and goals about it. One of them is to reach my ideal weight.
So I am now starting a challenging project: fat loss + muscle gain. I'm starting from zero (untrained and overweight), and want to end up with little fat and lots of muscle. The challenge will be to do it on a 100% raw, vegan diet.
I officially started on April 1st. Every month I will post a report about both the weight loss part and the muscle building part of the project.
April 1st report:
Weight: 68,4kg
BMI: 27,2
Weight loss report:
I have no target weight. I said I want to reach my ideal weight, but I have no clue what this ideal weight is. I've been overweight (even obese for a few years) for all of my adult life. Having never been thin as an adult, I have no clue what my weight should be. I do not even know what I look like as a thin adult. This is exciting but also scary.
What's going to be difficult for me on this journey is that I'll have to address a bunch of limiting beliefs and fears about weight loss. Losing weight definitely is a scary thing for me. When I went raw I lost so much weight initially that I had to take a break from the raw diet after three months, simply because I couldn't stand the quick melting away.
Now I am determined to lose weight, but I know I'll have to overcome serious blocks and probably a psycho-energetic reversal as well. Maybe I'll write about that in another post.
The weight loss part of the project won't be difficult from a physical viewpoint: I automatically lose weight when I'm 100% raw anyway, without having anything special to do about it. However, I expect it to be very challenging psychologically. I'll share what comes up.
Muscle building report:
Here it's the contrary: I expect it to be challenging physically, but very easy mentally. I love lifting weights! I feel so happy when I'm training. It just feels right. It feels like I'm doing what I'm meant to do. No problem.
I'm still in the input phase, learning a lot and randomly trying things out. What's sure is that I train daily, but with varying intensity (varying weight and/or varying numbers of reps). I tend to alternate "fit" days with maximal power and "lazy" days where I do about half as much or less. I don't try to progress every day. I also do not train to failure. Instead I focus more on being fully concentrated and on learning the proper technique. And on having fun. :-)
I do a few bodyweight exercises, but I admit that I prefer training with weights and with my kettlebell. Yesterday I bought a few new weights and have now a 28kg barbell. And a big problem! Because the barbell is both too light and too heavy. 28kg isn't heavy enough for squats or deadlifts. I could do much more. Unfortunately 28kg is also way too heavy for me to get the barbell on my shoulders! I have no problem with lifting it up to my waist. Once it's on my shoulders, I have no problem with squatting. But there's no way I can get it from my waist to my shoulders alone. Every time I want to squat, I have to ask my friend Tom, who's currently staying at my place, to first place the barbell on my shoulders. >:-(
From now on I will be keeping a training journal, just for the record. I won't put it online though, this would be boring for you. I'll just post my current weights in my monthly reports. It won't mean much to you, it's just to keep track of my progress. Here are they for April 1st:
Squat: 28kg
Deadlift: 28kg
Shoulders: 10kg
Triceps: 4kg
Biceps: 8kg
Back: 2kg
Kettlebell: 12kg (swing, one-handed swing, clean)
And since I said I'd post more pictures, here is what I looked like on April 1st:
Admire the soccer player legs. ;-)
The second project I have for my body is weight loss. I've had mixed feelings about both my overweight and the idea of losing weight in the past. I wanted to lose weight, but also refused to lose weight, thought I couldn't lose weight, but should lose weight, and simultaneously didn't care about my weight! Consequently, my weight has been going up and down in a quite chaotic way. But now that I'm befriending my body and getting to love it the (overweight) way it is, I find myself better able to formulate clear wishes and goals about it. One of them is to reach my ideal weight.
So I am now starting a challenging project: fat loss + muscle gain. I'm starting from zero (untrained and overweight), and want to end up with little fat and lots of muscle. The challenge will be to do it on a 100% raw, vegan diet.
I officially started on April 1st. Every month I will post a report about both the weight loss part and the muscle building part of the project.
April 1st report:
Weight: 68,4kg
BMI: 27,2
Weight loss report:
I have no target weight. I said I want to reach my ideal weight, but I have no clue what this ideal weight is. I've been overweight (even obese for a few years) for all of my adult life. Having never been thin as an adult, I have no clue what my weight should be. I do not even know what I look like as a thin adult. This is exciting but also scary.
What's going to be difficult for me on this journey is that I'll have to address a bunch of limiting beliefs and fears about weight loss. Losing weight definitely is a scary thing for me. When I went raw I lost so much weight initially that I had to take a break from the raw diet after three months, simply because I couldn't stand the quick melting away.
Now I am determined to lose weight, but I know I'll have to overcome serious blocks and probably a psycho-energetic reversal as well. Maybe I'll write about that in another post.
The weight loss part of the project won't be difficult from a physical viewpoint: I automatically lose weight when I'm 100% raw anyway, without having anything special to do about it. However, I expect it to be very challenging psychologically. I'll share what comes up.
Muscle building report:
Here it's the contrary: I expect it to be challenging physically, but very easy mentally. I love lifting weights! I feel so happy when I'm training. It just feels right. It feels like I'm doing what I'm meant to do. No problem.
I'm still in the input phase, learning a lot and randomly trying things out. What's sure is that I train daily, but with varying intensity (varying weight and/or varying numbers of reps). I tend to alternate "fit" days with maximal power and "lazy" days where I do about half as much or less. I don't try to progress every day. I also do not train to failure. Instead I focus more on being fully concentrated and on learning the proper technique. And on having fun. :-)
I do a few bodyweight exercises, but I admit that I prefer training with weights and with my kettlebell. Yesterday I bought a few new weights and have now a 28kg barbell. And a big problem! Because the barbell is both too light and too heavy. 28kg isn't heavy enough for squats or deadlifts. I could do much more. Unfortunately 28kg is also way too heavy for me to get the barbell on my shoulders! I have no problem with lifting it up to my waist. Once it's on my shoulders, I have no problem with squatting. But there's no way I can get it from my waist to my shoulders alone. Every time I want to squat, I have to ask my friend Tom, who's currently staying at my place, to first place the barbell on my shoulders. >:-(
From now on I will be keeping a training journal, just for the record. I won't put it online though, this would be boring for you. I'll just post my current weights in my monthly reports. It won't mean much to you, it's just to keep track of my progress. Here are they for April 1st:
Squat: 28kg
Deadlift: 28kg
Shoulders: 10kg
Triceps: 4kg
Biceps: 8kg
Back: 2kg
Kettlebell: 12kg (swing, one-handed swing, clean)
And since I said I'd post more pictures, here is what I looked like on April 1st:
Admire the soccer player legs. ;-)
viernes, 3 de abril de 2009
Ending the War with my Body
I want peace in the world - but the world cannot be at peace as long as I am at war. Including at war with myself. What we are inside we also generate outside. There can be no peace in my reality as long as there is war in my consciousness.
For many years I've been at war with myself. I'm ending this war now.
"Be the change you want to see in the world." (Mahatma Gandhi)
I have several conflicts with myself. For example, sometimes I still have a hard time accepting that I am a scanner. I also have difficulties coping with my high sensitivity. It annoys me that I'm thirty and still don't know what I want to do when I am grown up. There are quite a lot of things that I reproach myself for.
One of my goals for 2009 is to resolve all of those conflicts, starting with the biggest one. The biggest conflict I have with myself is about my body. There are (were) so many things about my body that I don't (didn't) like! Most of all that I am "too fat".
So I have decided to end this war now, and to accept and love myself exactly the way I am and am not. I think the lesson for me in being overweight is to learn unconditional self-love. I'll be able to let go of that fat when I have grown to truly love what is, now.
Approach one: The Work
Loving what is is the title of a wonderful book by Byron Katie. I'm applying her approach to my body problem now: I'm doing The Work on it.
The Work is a very powerful process that you can use to address all kinds of negative emotions, no matter whether they are about people, situations or other issues like finding yourself too fat. I highly recommend The Work! It will set you free. How to do it is explained here.
I'm not done with it yet, there is so much to work on! But since I started to do The Work to befriend my body, I'm already feeling much better.
I had an interesting dream. In my dream I was going around completely naked, and I was feeling perfectly comfortable this way. I didn't have an ideal body or anything like that, it was my real body, with fat and all. I was not even shaved! Yet it felt great and natural to be naked. At first the people I was talking to were a little embarrassed, but soon they too got comfortable with seeing me this way and talked with me as if everything were normal. In the end, everybody was fine with my being naked!
I think this was a very cool dream.
I can feel that I am slowly falling in love with my body at the moment. For example when I look at the stretchmarks on my hips, instead of resenting them for being there, like I did before, now I look at them with love and I'm damn proud of my great battle scars.
I especially love my legs! Actually I can't stop looking at them anymore. I've always disliked my legs, because they are not only covered with a layer of fat, they're also quite muscular. I like to say that I have legs like a soccer player. And I used to beat myself up for that. "This looks awful with a short skirt and high-heels! It's not feminine!" Blah blah blah. While doing The Work I suddenly realized: "Hey! Wait a minute! I never wear short skirts and high-heels in the first place! I dream of being a muscle beast. And I resent my legs for being muscular? How illogical is that!!"
"You will always suffer when your mind wants two opposing things at once." (Byron Katie)
I cannot be a muscle beast and have legs like a petite girlie. That's just not possible, I need to make a choice. This choice is a no-brainer for me! I don't care about being feminine, but I do care a lot about being strong.
So now I totally love my soccer player legs. And everything else as well. I just love my body! I can't touch it and look at it enough, I'm amazed at how fantastic it is!
You have no idea how wonderful a feeling it is to be allowed to love my body at last. What a relief.
Approach two: taking action
I'm asking myself "How would I feel, and how would I behave, if I were perfectly fine with my body as it is now?". That's actually a part of The Work ("How would you feel and behave if you didn't have this thought?"), but I extended it a bit for myself. The Work is meditation. But I'm going to actually do those things.
I made a list of things I would do if my body were a non-issue for me, and now I'm going to do them regardless! Ha! Good way to overcome my fears and to build courage.
One of those things is to post pictures on my blog. I found out that if I didn't have any problem with my body, I would post way more pictures on my blog. Oddly enough, not only pictures of myself. I would also post other pictures unrelated to me. I don't know why feeling bad about my body prevented me from posting pictures of landscapes and stuff, but that's the case. So, expect to see more pictures on here from now on.
I'm also considering learning how to strip-tease. Just for fun, as a way of getting more comfortable with my body, with being seen naked, and with feeling sexually attractive.
I tend to feel anxious when a man finds me attractive. I'm confident about my sexual skills, so once in bed everything's fine. The problem is the fear of being sexually attractive when I'm not having sex, if this makes sense.
I don't know exactly why I feel this way, but asking why is not an empowering question anyway. I'd rather ask myself what I can do about it. Maybe learning to strip-tease could be one possible solution. It would be a fun thing to try out anyway.
What about you?
Do you love your body unconditionally, as it is right now?
What are you being at war with yourself about?
What can you do right now to make peace with yourself?
What are you generating in your reality? Peace, or War?
Much Love to you. I wish you a wonderful day!
For many years I've been at war with myself. I'm ending this war now.
"Be the change you want to see in the world." (Mahatma Gandhi)
I have several conflicts with myself. For example, sometimes I still have a hard time accepting that I am a scanner. I also have difficulties coping with my high sensitivity. It annoys me that I'm thirty and still don't know what I want to do when I am grown up. There are quite a lot of things that I reproach myself for.
One of my goals for 2009 is to resolve all of those conflicts, starting with the biggest one. The biggest conflict I have with myself is about my body. There are (were) so many things about my body that I don't (didn't) like! Most of all that I am "too fat".
So I have decided to end this war now, and to accept and love myself exactly the way I am and am not. I think the lesson for me in being overweight is to learn unconditional self-love. I'll be able to let go of that fat when I have grown to truly love what is, now.
Approach one: The Work
Loving what is is the title of a wonderful book by Byron Katie. I'm applying her approach to my body problem now: I'm doing The Work on it.
The Work is a very powerful process that you can use to address all kinds of negative emotions, no matter whether they are about people, situations or other issues like finding yourself too fat. I highly recommend The Work! It will set you free. How to do it is explained here.
I'm not done with it yet, there is so much to work on! But since I started to do The Work to befriend my body, I'm already feeling much better.
I had an interesting dream. In my dream I was going around completely naked, and I was feeling perfectly comfortable this way. I didn't have an ideal body or anything like that, it was my real body, with fat and all. I was not even shaved! Yet it felt great and natural to be naked. At first the people I was talking to were a little embarrassed, but soon they too got comfortable with seeing me this way and talked with me as if everything were normal. In the end, everybody was fine with my being naked!
I think this was a very cool dream.
I can feel that I am slowly falling in love with my body at the moment. For example when I look at the stretchmarks on my hips, instead of resenting them for being there, like I did before, now I look at them with love and I'm damn proud of my great battle scars.
I especially love my legs! Actually I can't stop looking at them anymore. I've always disliked my legs, because they are not only covered with a layer of fat, they're also quite muscular. I like to say that I have legs like a soccer player. And I used to beat myself up for that. "This looks awful with a short skirt and high-heels! It's not feminine!" Blah blah blah. While doing The Work I suddenly realized: "Hey! Wait a minute! I never wear short skirts and high-heels in the first place! I dream of being a muscle beast. And I resent my legs for being muscular? How illogical is that!!"
"You will always suffer when your mind wants two opposing things at once." (Byron Katie)
I cannot be a muscle beast and have legs like a petite girlie. That's just not possible, I need to make a choice. This choice is a no-brainer for me! I don't care about being feminine, but I do care a lot about being strong.
So now I totally love my soccer player legs. And everything else as well. I just love my body! I can't touch it and look at it enough, I'm amazed at how fantastic it is!
You have no idea how wonderful a feeling it is to be allowed to love my body at last. What a relief.
Approach two: taking action
I'm asking myself "How would I feel, and how would I behave, if I were perfectly fine with my body as it is now?". That's actually a part of The Work ("How would you feel and behave if you didn't have this thought?"), but I extended it a bit for myself. The Work is meditation. But I'm going to actually do those things.
I made a list of things I would do if my body were a non-issue for me, and now I'm going to do them regardless! Ha! Good way to overcome my fears and to build courage.
One of those things is to post pictures on my blog. I found out that if I didn't have any problem with my body, I would post way more pictures on my blog. Oddly enough, not only pictures of myself. I would also post other pictures unrelated to me. I don't know why feeling bad about my body prevented me from posting pictures of landscapes and stuff, but that's the case. So, expect to see more pictures on here from now on.
I'm also considering learning how to strip-tease. Just for fun, as a way of getting more comfortable with my body, with being seen naked, and with feeling sexually attractive.
I tend to feel anxious when a man finds me attractive. I'm confident about my sexual skills, so once in bed everything's fine. The problem is the fear of being sexually attractive when I'm not having sex, if this makes sense.
I don't know exactly why I feel this way, but asking why is not an empowering question anyway. I'd rather ask myself what I can do about it. Maybe learning to strip-tease could be one possible solution. It would be a fun thing to try out anyway.
What about you?
Do you love your body unconditionally, as it is right now?
What are you being at war with yourself about?
What can you do right now to make peace with yourself?
What are you generating in your reality? Peace, or War?
Much Love to you. I wish you a wonderful day!
domingo, 22 de marzo de 2009
One New Habit a Month Challenge #3: Building Muscle
Here's my monthly report on how I'm building new, empowering habits.
Since I failed miserably at adapting to a polyphasic sleep schedule, I did not learn any new habit this past month.
Month number three (March 20th to April 19th) will be about building muscle. One of my secret ( ;-) ) desires is to become a muscle beast. Not as much as professional bodybuilders, I don't like it when you can see every single muscle and tendon. But I definitely dream of having impressive muscles. Most of all, I don't only want to look strong, I want to actually be very strong.
Why?
I don't know why I want it. It seems quite irrational. I've long thought that big muscles are a useless thing to have and that all the effort put into growing them is a waste of time and energy. Nevertheless, I stubbornly keep having this desire for big muscles no matter what. I know deep down in my blood that it's the right path for me and that I want it. There aren't many things in my life which I am that sure about. So I have decided to go for it and to work towards this goal on a daily basis.
Making muscle training this month's habit was a difficult choice since I have so many awesome future habits on my list! But it makes sense to do it now. This way I'll be done with all health & fitness goals. Health & fitness was my main focus in 2008 but I didn't succeed in getting everything done. Now I want to finish what I have begun. I'd like to have all of my health & fitness habits run on auto-pilot as soon as possible, in order to focus on something else.
I'm still dancing and walking daily and I love it. It has become noticeably easier, which is a sign that my fitness has improved. I'm happy about it, however it's also a bit frustrating because I'm not getting as intensive a workout anymore. I think I will need something more tiring soon. For now I'll develop my musculature to begin with.
How?
I will start with five minutes a day, as the goal is predominantly to learn a new daily habit. Five minutes can make a huge difference for a beginner if the workout is really intensive, anyway.
I have no clue about muscle training. So even though I'll work out for only five minutes a day, I expect that I'll need to spend a lot of time educating myself about the whole thing.
I won't go to the gym. I already tried that in the past. Not my cup of tea. Working on machines and following a strict schedule soon became intolerably boring.
This time I'll train at home and I'll train with no fixed schedule. I will use a few tools like dumbbell, barbell, free weights, but also do bodyweight exercises, and of course play with my beloved kettlebell. I don't know the details of my workouts yet as I expect to learn a lot this coming month. One's for sure, I want it to be fun and playful, and not too organized.
What I already know is that I will definitely train for strength, not for endurance. Training for endurance would mean doing many reps (repetitions) of relatively light exercises or with relatively light weights. I won't do that. Instead I'll do only very few reps, but with the heaviest weights and hardest exercises I can manage to lift or do.
Wish me luck! :-)
Since I failed miserably at adapting to a polyphasic sleep schedule, I did not learn any new habit this past month.
Month number three (March 20th to April 19th) will be about building muscle. One of my secret ( ;-) ) desires is to become a muscle beast. Not as much as professional bodybuilders, I don't like it when you can see every single muscle and tendon. But I definitely dream of having impressive muscles. Most of all, I don't only want to look strong, I want to actually be very strong.
Why?
I don't know why I want it. It seems quite irrational. I've long thought that big muscles are a useless thing to have and that all the effort put into growing them is a waste of time and energy. Nevertheless, I stubbornly keep having this desire for big muscles no matter what. I know deep down in my blood that it's the right path for me and that I want it. There aren't many things in my life which I am that sure about. So I have decided to go for it and to work towards this goal on a daily basis.
Making muscle training this month's habit was a difficult choice since I have so many awesome future habits on my list! But it makes sense to do it now. This way I'll be done with all health & fitness goals. Health & fitness was my main focus in 2008 but I didn't succeed in getting everything done. Now I want to finish what I have begun. I'd like to have all of my health & fitness habits run on auto-pilot as soon as possible, in order to focus on something else.
I'm still dancing and walking daily and I love it. It has become noticeably easier, which is a sign that my fitness has improved. I'm happy about it, however it's also a bit frustrating because I'm not getting as intensive a workout anymore. I think I will need something more tiring soon. For now I'll develop my musculature to begin with.
How?
I will start with five minutes a day, as the goal is predominantly to learn a new daily habit. Five minutes can make a huge difference for a beginner if the workout is really intensive, anyway.
I have no clue about muscle training. So even though I'll work out for only five minutes a day, I expect that I'll need to spend a lot of time educating myself about the whole thing.
I won't go to the gym. I already tried that in the past. Not my cup of tea. Working on machines and following a strict schedule soon became intolerably boring.
This time I'll train at home and I'll train with no fixed schedule. I will use a few tools like dumbbell, barbell, free weights, but also do bodyweight exercises, and of course play with my beloved kettlebell. I don't know the details of my workouts yet as I expect to learn a lot this coming month. One's for sure, I want it to be fun and playful, and not too organized.
What I already know is that I will definitely train for strength, not for endurance. Training for endurance would mean doing many reps (repetitions) of relatively light exercises or with relatively light weights. I won't do that. Instead I'll do only very few reps, but with the heaviest weights and hardest exercises I can manage to lift or do.
Wish me luck! :-)
lunes, 16 de marzo de 2009
Out of Body Experience
About two and a half years ago I had an awesome out of body experience (OBE) that I would like to share with you. It was very impressive to fly around without my body!
It was in summer and I was staying with my family for a month. It's a farm there, with a lake a few hundred meters away from the house.
One late night, right before going to sleep, I was lying on my bed to relax a bit. I was very tired and fell into a state of half-sleep or very deep relaxation. Suddenly, I felt slowly pulled out of my body. I totally didn't understand what was going on! It was very strange to feel myself separating slowly from my body. It's a weird sensation.
Then I saw myself from above lying on the bed with closed eyes. I wondered what happened to me. For some reason I thought about going outside, and whoop! I immediately passed through the (closed) door and was outside!
I was floating about two or three meters above the ground and could move just by thinking of where I wanted to go to. It was great not to have any weight! So I decided to go to the lake. Since I had arrived at the farm I hadn't found the time to go and see it, and I love this lake. So, why not now, I thought.
I followed the path to the lake, down to the river through the trees, across the river, up on the other side, over a meadow... always floating. I saw a wild pig (there are lots of them there) and an owl, everything was as it would really be. It was very realistic. The pig and owl didn't seem to notice me, I wondered if they could feel me.
When I arrived to the lake, I was very surprised: a hedge between two hayfields, which had always been there since I can remember, was missing! Everything else was exactly like it really was, but this one hedge was just missing.
That scared me a little. It just wasn't normal. "What the fuck is going on here!" I wondered. Suddenly I thought I should not go too far, or I could lose the connection to my body and never be able to reintegrate it! The idea I could remain bodyless and live the rest of my life in this abstract form made me feel very uncomfortable. I thought it would be just terrible to see everything without being able to interact with the world. I also didn't like the idea that my body was lying somewhere all alone and vulnerable. "What if something happens to it while I'm away?" I feared.
So I decided to go back. It still was a very pleasant feeling to float around just by thinking of it. As I arrived to the trees near the river, I asked myself "Why should I follow the path, if I can fly I'll just jump over the trees!" and whoop, I jumped over the trees. It was fun!
I went through the closed door again and saw myself still lying on the bed with closed eyes. I didn't know how to reintegrate my body properly, so I just went into it, tried to fill it entirely and then kept very quiet without moving, listening to my heartbeats and hoping it would work somehow. After a long, long time, I carefully tried to move a few toes, then my fingers, then my face... it was ok, I was back in. I got up and walked around a little, happy to feel my weight again.
All this isn't that extraordinary so far, it could be possible that I imagined the whole thing. After all I know the way to the lake very well. But the really amazing thing is that a few days later, I went to the lake again, this time together with my physical body and my mother. And the hedge was missing.
It really was missing! Everything was exactly the way I saw it while flying around. "Where's the hedge?!" I almost screamed. "Oh, your uncle cut it off in spring, to make one large meadow from the two little ones" my mother said.
So, I'm convinced I really was there that night, and I really was flying around without my body. If I had imagined the whole trip to the lake, in such a realistic way, I would have included the hedge. Why would I have chosen to leave it out? I had never seen the lake without it and didn't know it wasn't there anymore. And if my subconscious had decided to just twist one detail, why exactly the one detail that turned out to actually have changed in reality? The probability for such a coincidence happening is so low that it's more likely that I really had an OBE.
It was a really cool experience! :-)
Now I regret a bit that I didn't play around more. I could have done many fun things, like going through more doors, jumping over houses, observing sleeping people or playing Santa Claus in the chimney.
For some reason I never tried to leave my body again though. I don't know why exactly, maybe because I have no clue how I did it in the first place. It just happened and wasn't intentional. I wouldn't know how to do it again.
What I know is that the summer when it happened was the only time in my life when I was doing a lot of energy work, often and regularly, and I think this might have played a crucial role. What I was doing was:
kinesiology exercises three times a day every day, with
additional EFT when needed, followed by
meditation three times a day, plus
chakra cleansing every day.
In case having an OBE is a goal of yours, maybe practicing the above would be a possible starting point. I'm sorry I cannot give you any other advice!
One's for sure, if being dead feels like that, we really have no reason to fear death. :-)
I wish you a wonderful day!
It was in summer and I was staying with my family for a month. It's a farm there, with a lake a few hundred meters away from the house.
One late night, right before going to sleep, I was lying on my bed to relax a bit. I was very tired and fell into a state of half-sleep or very deep relaxation. Suddenly, I felt slowly pulled out of my body. I totally didn't understand what was going on! It was very strange to feel myself separating slowly from my body. It's a weird sensation.
Then I saw myself from above lying on the bed with closed eyes. I wondered what happened to me. For some reason I thought about going outside, and whoop! I immediately passed through the (closed) door and was outside!
I was floating about two or three meters above the ground and could move just by thinking of where I wanted to go to. It was great not to have any weight! So I decided to go to the lake. Since I had arrived at the farm I hadn't found the time to go and see it, and I love this lake. So, why not now, I thought.
I followed the path to the lake, down to the river through the trees, across the river, up on the other side, over a meadow... always floating. I saw a wild pig (there are lots of them there) and an owl, everything was as it would really be. It was very realistic. The pig and owl didn't seem to notice me, I wondered if they could feel me.
When I arrived to the lake, I was very surprised: a hedge between two hayfields, which had always been there since I can remember, was missing! Everything else was exactly like it really was, but this one hedge was just missing.
That scared me a little. It just wasn't normal. "What the fuck is going on here!" I wondered. Suddenly I thought I should not go too far, or I could lose the connection to my body and never be able to reintegrate it! The idea I could remain bodyless and live the rest of my life in this abstract form made me feel very uncomfortable. I thought it would be just terrible to see everything without being able to interact with the world. I also didn't like the idea that my body was lying somewhere all alone and vulnerable. "What if something happens to it while I'm away?" I feared.
So I decided to go back. It still was a very pleasant feeling to float around just by thinking of it. As I arrived to the trees near the river, I asked myself "Why should I follow the path, if I can fly I'll just jump over the trees!" and whoop, I jumped over the trees. It was fun!
I went through the closed door again and saw myself still lying on the bed with closed eyes. I didn't know how to reintegrate my body properly, so I just went into it, tried to fill it entirely and then kept very quiet without moving, listening to my heartbeats and hoping it would work somehow. After a long, long time, I carefully tried to move a few toes, then my fingers, then my face... it was ok, I was back in. I got up and walked around a little, happy to feel my weight again.
All this isn't that extraordinary so far, it could be possible that I imagined the whole thing. After all I know the way to the lake very well. But the really amazing thing is that a few days later, I went to the lake again, this time together with my physical body and my mother. And the hedge was missing.
It really was missing! Everything was exactly the way I saw it while flying around. "Where's the hedge?!" I almost screamed. "Oh, your uncle cut it off in spring, to make one large meadow from the two little ones" my mother said.
So, I'm convinced I really was there that night, and I really was flying around without my body. If I had imagined the whole trip to the lake, in such a realistic way, I would have included the hedge. Why would I have chosen to leave it out? I had never seen the lake without it and didn't know it wasn't there anymore. And if my subconscious had decided to just twist one detail, why exactly the one detail that turned out to actually have changed in reality? The probability for such a coincidence happening is so low that it's more likely that I really had an OBE.
It was a really cool experience! :-)
Now I regret a bit that I didn't play around more. I could have done many fun things, like going through more doors, jumping over houses, observing sleeping people or playing Santa Claus in the chimney.
For some reason I never tried to leave my body again though. I don't know why exactly, maybe because I have no clue how I did it in the first place. It just happened and wasn't intentional. I wouldn't know how to do it again.
What I know is that the summer when it happened was the only time in my life when I was doing a lot of energy work, often and regularly, and I think this might have played a crucial role. What I was doing was:
kinesiology exercises three times a day every day, with
additional EFT when needed, followed by
meditation three times a day, plus
chakra cleansing every day.
In case having an OBE is a goal of yours, maybe practicing the above would be a possible starting point. I'm sorry I cannot give you any other advice!
One's for sure, if being dead feels like that, we really have no reason to fear death. :-)
I wish you a wonderful day!
martes, 10 de marzo de 2009
Language Fetishism
I love learning foreign languages! It's so much fun. My favorite way of procrastinating. Especially when I discover a new language that I like. I can get so hooked on it that I forget about everything else and spend hours and days doing nothing but listening to it, reading it, and trying to figure out how it works. I also love teaching the languages I already speak. And most of all I love talking about grammar, phonetics or etymology.
Actually, all of the above is a big sexual turn-on for me. Languages are just damn sexy. I think I have a language fetish.
Linguistic polyamory
I'm in love with many languages, each one in its own way.
My newest discovery is Norwegian. It's so interesting! Did you know that there are actually two official written languages in Norway, called Nynorsk and Bokmål, and plenty of different spoken dialects? I didn't know until recently. Before meeting Víkþórr I had never seen or heard any Norwegian. But he introduced it to me and since then I'm having such a big crush on Norwegian. It's fascinating. And VERY sexy.
At the moment I'm learning Høgnorsk, a puristic version of Nynorsk (I am a purist, I can't help it). I definitely want to go live in Norway for a while, to get really good in Norwegian. I find Høgnorsk terribly arousing. Its grammar is hot. When I learn new words I am so happy! And when I succeed in crafting some correct sentences, then it's simple, I just feel like immediately having sex.
I also love Romanian. A few years ago I heard this song by accident on the radio. It's one of those pop songs that I would hardly listen to normally. But when I heard the language, oh my! I was beside myself with joy!
One of my travel projects is to cross the Carpates by foot, so I want to discover Romania anyway. The language will be one additional reason to go.
Many years ago I fell madly in love with Russian, and this never changed. It happened when I watched a movie by Nikita Mikhalkov called Pyat vecherov. I really liked the movie, but most of all, it was the very first time I got to hear some Russian, and that was... love at first sight. Erm, audition.
I feel very passionate about Russian. Somehow I never managed to learn it, but I will, I swear it. And I definitely want to live in Russia for a while too. I'm totally in love with the country, the literature, the people, just everything. And the language of course. Russian is one of the sexiest languages ever. When I hear it, I just melt.
Another extremely sexy language is Icelandic! I haven't heard much of it yet, but what I heard swept me off my feet. A man speaking Icelandic with me in bed would probably make me lose my mind out of sheer ecstasy.
I feel sweetly romantic towards Tibetan. Last year I heard a voice in my head saying "Tibet, music" to me. I didn't know anything about Tibet back then so this was quite surprising! After discovering Tibetan music and listening to those songs, I fell in love with the language too. This love is peaceful though and seems to come more from my heart and less from below my waist. ;-)
My other linguistic projects involve learning Japanese at last, refreshing my rusty Spanish, and improving my English until it's fluent.
English is a pain in the ass. Maybe it's because I'm French, but I have a hard time speaking it. I dislike opening my mouth as wide as if I were trying to swallow a hot potato. It's so totally not elegant. But I love the bitch anyway. Some day I'll end up handcuffing and laying it.
I miss Spanish a lot. Haven't spoken it in about ten years. And I've forgotten almost everything. :-( In school I didn't like it at all, I found it ugly. Later I met people from Ecuador and discovered South American Spanish. That I totally loved. It's beautiful. It's powerful. It touches my heart. South America is another place I'd like to live in for a while. Especially Argentina, to get to dance some tango argentino. :-)
As for Japanese, it's been a love interest of mine for a long time now. One of those you look at from afar and sigh.
I already speak German and French fluently. We're married. :D I recently discovered that teaching them is exciting though. When I talk about their grammar or history I do feel passionate about them again.
There are unhappy loves, too. I tried to learn Chinese and gave up after a couple months, knowing very well that I'd never be able to speak it with no accent. Same with Arabic, trying to pronounce it is futile. I don't want to learn only the written language in Chinese and Arabic. Both are very beautiful, but this would be like having a relationship without sex. ;-)
Some languages are sexier than others. For example for me personally, Italian isn't sexy. I've been in Italy, I was happy of course when I was able to understand what people said, but I didn't feel in love or excited or anything like that. Italian is nice, but it doesn't arouse me. It's in the friend zone. :p
Why are (some) languages so sexy?
I don't know.
I wish I could explain it, but I can't. Maybe it's the way they sound. Hearing them just turns me on. Or maybe it's the logic their grammar is based on. Or maybe languages just are to me what feet are to others?
Learning foreign languages is very exciting. For me each new language is an additional degree of freedom. I don't think and feel in language A the way I think and feel in language B. So speaking a foreign language is like switching personalities in some way. Some things also can be expressed easily or elegantly in one language and laboriously or heavily in the other one. Juggling between languages allows me greater freedom and is a lot of fun.
Of course there is the communication aspect. Languages enable us to communicate, especially with people who live in a completely different culture. Alone learning their language, even without talking to them, is a way of understanding them better. That's very interesting! I'm fascinated by communication in all its forms, be it spoken language, language of signs, body language, languages of other animals, dancing, sex, telepathy, psychic abilities, electromagnetic waves, music, programming languages, theory of codes, or cryptography.
Languages allow me to play. I love learning about the history of the words I use, playing on their connotations, or playing with linguistic levels. This can be challenging. For example adapting the language level to the content of what you want to say isn't that self-evident when you're not using your mother tongue. Or creating inappropriate word combinations, that's so much fun! For example "Thou shall not utter a shitload of balderdash". XD
I enjoy experimenting with style. There's definitely an aesthetic aspect in speaking a language, be it our mother tongue or some foreign language. How to creatively design the most elegant or beautiful or accurate sentence? Words have a past, an aura and a soul. We have a relationship with each one of them. Some words are cute, lovely, endearing. Others just sound funny, or obnoxious. Others again are scary, they look terrible. Don't you relate to words this way? :-)
And then there's the technical aspect. I guess that is what's really hot. I can't help it, I love grammar. Grammar is so fucking sexy. Learning about the syntax of a language, figuring out how it works, what its most intimate mechanisms are - all that is highly erotic. It totally turns me on to talk about comma rules or about the position of the verb in the sentence. I don't know why. The same way I find Linux sexy or get horny when I prove a mathematical theorem I'm also aroused by the technical aspects of languages.
After all, our primary sexual organ is our brain. So, intellectual masturbation is a valid stimulation. ;-)
I've never had sex with another language fetishist, so I don't know what it would feel like to talk about grammar or in several languages while making love - but I imagine this would be totally hot. :D
Actually, all of the above is a big sexual turn-on for me. Languages are just damn sexy. I think I have a language fetish.
Linguistic polyamory
I'm in love with many languages, each one in its own way.
My newest discovery is Norwegian. It's so interesting! Did you know that there are actually two official written languages in Norway, called Nynorsk and Bokmål, and plenty of different spoken dialects? I didn't know until recently. Before meeting Víkþórr I had never seen or heard any Norwegian. But he introduced it to me and since then I'm having such a big crush on Norwegian. It's fascinating. And VERY sexy.
At the moment I'm learning Høgnorsk, a puristic version of Nynorsk (I am a purist, I can't help it). I definitely want to go live in Norway for a while, to get really good in Norwegian. I find Høgnorsk terribly arousing. Its grammar is hot. When I learn new words I am so happy! And when I succeed in crafting some correct sentences, then it's simple, I just feel like immediately having sex.
I also love Romanian. A few years ago I heard this song by accident on the radio. It's one of those pop songs that I would hardly listen to normally. But when I heard the language, oh my! I was beside myself with joy!
One of my travel projects is to cross the Carpates by foot, so I want to discover Romania anyway. The language will be one additional reason to go.
Many years ago I fell madly in love with Russian, and this never changed. It happened when I watched a movie by Nikita Mikhalkov called Pyat vecherov. I really liked the movie, but most of all, it was the very first time I got to hear some Russian, and that was... love at first sight. Erm, audition.
I feel very passionate about Russian. Somehow I never managed to learn it, but I will, I swear it. And I definitely want to live in Russia for a while too. I'm totally in love with the country, the literature, the people, just everything. And the language of course. Russian is one of the sexiest languages ever. When I hear it, I just melt.
Another extremely sexy language is Icelandic! I haven't heard much of it yet, but what I heard swept me off my feet. A man speaking Icelandic with me in bed would probably make me lose my mind out of sheer ecstasy.
I feel sweetly romantic towards Tibetan. Last year I heard a voice in my head saying "Tibet, music" to me. I didn't know anything about Tibet back then so this was quite surprising! After discovering Tibetan music and listening to those songs, I fell in love with the language too. This love is peaceful though and seems to come more from my heart and less from below my waist. ;-)
My other linguistic projects involve learning Japanese at last, refreshing my rusty Spanish, and improving my English until it's fluent.
English is a pain in the ass. Maybe it's because I'm French, but I have a hard time speaking it. I dislike opening my mouth as wide as if I were trying to swallow a hot potato. It's so totally not elegant. But I love the bitch anyway. Some day I'll end up handcuffing and laying it.
I miss Spanish a lot. Haven't spoken it in about ten years. And I've forgotten almost everything. :-( In school I didn't like it at all, I found it ugly. Later I met people from Ecuador and discovered South American Spanish. That I totally loved. It's beautiful. It's powerful. It touches my heart. South America is another place I'd like to live in for a while. Especially Argentina, to get to dance some tango argentino. :-)
As for Japanese, it's been a love interest of mine for a long time now. One of those you look at from afar and sigh.
I already speak German and French fluently. We're married. :D I recently discovered that teaching them is exciting though. When I talk about their grammar or history I do feel passionate about them again.
There are unhappy loves, too. I tried to learn Chinese and gave up after a couple months, knowing very well that I'd never be able to speak it with no accent. Same with Arabic, trying to pronounce it is futile. I don't want to learn only the written language in Chinese and Arabic. Both are very beautiful, but this would be like having a relationship without sex. ;-)
Some languages are sexier than others. For example for me personally, Italian isn't sexy. I've been in Italy, I was happy of course when I was able to understand what people said, but I didn't feel in love or excited or anything like that. Italian is nice, but it doesn't arouse me. It's in the friend zone. :p
Why are (some) languages so sexy?
I don't know.
I wish I could explain it, but I can't. Maybe it's the way they sound. Hearing them just turns me on. Or maybe it's the logic their grammar is based on. Or maybe languages just are to me what feet are to others?
Learning foreign languages is very exciting. For me each new language is an additional degree of freedom. I don't think and feel in language A the way I think and feel in language B. So speaking a foreign language is like switching personalities in some way. Some things also can be expressed easily or elegantly in one language and laboriously or heavily in the other one. Juggling between languages allows me greater freedom and is a lot of fun.
Of course there is the communication aspect. Languages enable us to communicate, especially with people who live in a completely different culture. Alone learning their language, even without talking to them, is a way of understanding them better. That's very interesting! I'm fascinated by communication in all its forms, be it spoken language, language of signs, body language, languages of other animals, dancing, sex, telepathy, psychic abilities, electromagnetic waves, music, programming languages, theory of codes, or cryptography.
Languages allow me to play. I love learning about the history of the words I use, playing on their connotations, or playing with linguistic levels. This can be challenging. For example adapting the language level to the content of what you want to say isn't that self-evident when you're not using your mother tongue. Or creating inappropriate word combinations, that's so much fun! For example "Thou shall not utter a shitload of balderdash". XD
I enjoy experimenting with style. There's definitely an aesthetic aspect in speaking a language, be it our mother tongue or some foreign language. How to creatively design the most elegant or beautiful or accurate sentence? Words have a past, an aura and a soul. We have a relationship with each one of them. Some words are cute, lovely, endearing. Others just sound funny, or obnoxious. Others again are scary, they look terrible. Don't you relate to words this way? :-)
And then there's the technical aspect. I guess that is what's really hot. I can't help it, I love grammar. Grammar is so fucking sexy. Learning about the syntax of a language, figuring out how it works, what its most intimate mechanisms are - all that is highly erotic. It totally turns me on to talk about comma rules or about the position of the verb in the sentence. I don't know why. The same way I find Linux sexy or get horny when I prove a mathematical theorem I'm also aroused by the technical aspects of languages.
After all, our primary sexual organ is our brain. So, intellectual masturbation is a valid stimulation. ;-)
I've never had sex with another language fetishist, so I don't know what it would feel like to talk about grammar or in several languages while making love - but I imagine this would be totally hot. :D
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