lunes, 30 de noviembre de 2009

Hug Threesome

Have you ever hugged two persons at the same time?

I'm currently in Oslo, Norway. I met some great people here, two of which I spent the last weekend with. At some point, I was hugging one of them, when the other one asked if he could join us. The first one replied "Yeah, man!" and opened one arm to him.

It was wonderful! Whoa. It felt so amazing to hug both of them simultaneously while they were also hugging each other. What an awesome energy we created! It was so powerful and loving. We kept hugging closely for a very long time, and did it a couple more times the next day. It just felt so damn good. I loved it. It was terrific.

A hug is a powerful thing. A one-on-one hug already creates an energy bigger than the sum of the individual ones. Taking in one person more makes the additional energy creation even more intensive.

If you never had a hug threesome, maybe it's time to try that out! ;-)

miércoles, 25 de noviembre de 2009

Your Feelings are Self-Made

Imagine it's early in the morning, and you are standing in the bakery, waiting for your turn to buy a baguette. (There's no baguette where you live? Never mind, just imagine you're French.) Suddenly some guy rushes in, ignores you and loudly asks for two croissants right under your nose. How do you react?

You could feel humiliated, remember that other people always walk all over you, but be too timid to claim your breadly rights (and feel bad about that too).
You could think “Wow, this guy must really be in a hurry today!”, smile and admire the beautiful cake in front of you.
You could be outraged at such rudeness, step forward and politely but firmly ask for your baguette, dammit.
You could feel sorry for the poor devil, because you imagine he gets whipped around by his wife and has to bring her croissants asap or else she'll nag at him for a month.

There is not only one single way to react to a given situation.

The way you feel, what you think and how you behave in any situation is never caused directly by the situation itself. It's only the consequence of the way you perceive this situation.

This is linked to whether you judge what happens as good, bad, neutral, or don't judge it at all. It depends on what the situation means to you. You will see it through the filter of your beliefs and interpret it accordingly. You will be influenced in that by your general attitude and way of being. More generally, your reaction is a manifestation of your mental, emotional and energetic state of being.

The feelings of someone who is usually in a state of fear and insecurity will be completely different from the feelings of someone who is in a confident state of power and peace, even if the situation is the same.

Fortunately, we are not the victims of our beliefs and state of being! We can pick our beliefs. We can choose to engage with certain energies, or not. Therefore, we are free to choose how we react. We are the creators of our own feelings.

Which also means that we are 100% responsible for them. If we are the ones creating and choosing them, then logically they are entirely our own responsibility and nobody else's. Full power and full responsibility go hand in hand.

As I learned in my Soul Realignment training, sometimes we have some blocks at soul-level that create negative thoughts and/or emotions in us. These thoughts and emotions are not truly ours, even though we identify them as such. In such a case, it can be difficult to choose how we feel. No matter how much we work on it, we will just have this negative stuff pop into our mind and make us feel bad.

However, we only have these soul-level blocks because at some point we made a choice that allowed them to be there. We didn't do it intentionally or consciously, but it still was our doing. So, indirectly, our feelings still are the consequence of our own choice. The only difference is that if we are affected by such a soul-level block, we might need some Soul Realignment to get rid of it, whereas if we don't have such a block, we have the full power to change our feelings right now. In the end it still boils down to the fact that we are 100% responsible for them.

I once lost my best friend over the 100% responsibility principle. When I discovered it, I was in a very close friendship with a girl I liked a lot. Realizing that I was responsible for my own feelings was one of the biggest breakthroughs in my life! It was several years ago. Back then, I was emotionally unstable and struggling with negative feelings. The idea of being able to choose the way I felt was like paradise to me. It opened completely unexpected doors.

Of course she was the first one I told about it. To my great surprise, she got very angry. She perceived it as meaning that her feelings would be her fault and that she would not be entitled to feel bad anymore. I tried to explain to her that it has nothing to do with fault. I was so enthusiastic. All I saw was the awesome power such an attitude gives us. But she maintained that others cause her feelings, and that for any normal person, feeling bad is a logical and necessary consequence of crappy life circumstances.

I remember her defending her powerlessness as if it were a right. Or even a duty. Like, if someone is mean to you and you don't feel bad, then you must be some kind of heartless bitch. We had a big heated argument about this and from that day on I never saw her again. She just stopped calling. I didn't call her either. I just knew we were not compatible with each other anymore. So I let her go.

It is true that when we accept full responsibility for our feelings, we cannot blame anybody else for them anymore. Damn. But on the other hand, it gives us so much power! It makes us invulnerable and safe no matter what our life circumstances are. Even when we don't succeed in feeling good all the time, at least we know that when we feel bad, we are the one actually choosing to feel bad. We are the one doing this to ourselves. Nobody else can hurt us as long as we don't accept to hurt ourselves.

Then we don't need to be afraid of things such as rejection, abandonment or judgment anymore. We can let go of control and protections. Bye bye, walls and weapons. What a freedom! :-)

viernes, 20 de noviembre de 2009

Soul Realignment is Scary!

Speaking of fear, this reminds me that I've been experiencing a lot of it since I began with my Soul Realignment practitioner training.

Soul Realignment is totally changing the way I see the world at the moment. A lot of things that I didn't understand before start making a lot of sense now. I can also see how incredibly useful and valuable it can be to others that I am allowed to check out and clear their soul record. When I see the blocks and restrictions that I find there, I can imagine how much easier life will be for them after this crap is gone.

At the same time, with greater power comes greater responsibility, and that is scary. What if I do something wrong, huh? What if I'm not good enough as a psychic?

Also, for someone with a rational and non-religious background like me, Soul Realignment is totally out-there. I'm comfortable with talking to spirit guides. But Soul Realignment is three levels higher on the sci-fi scale. I'm still weirded out by some of the things I'm learning.

For example, soul groups of origination. I have learned that different souls come from different places in the Universe, and that the energy of these places affects us so much that it becomes a relevant aspect of our personality when we incarnate. It also partly determines our life purpose and explains a lot about the way we feel and behave and the things happening to us.

The background of some of these groups and the stories about how they came to Earth is so fantastic that sometimes I think I must be nutty as a fruitcake for believing it. Yet I do! It just makes so much sense. I have long noticed that some of the people around me have a similar "feel" to them. I couldn't quite explain it, but in some subtle way they just feel similar, even though they have different personalities. And now I found out that they belong to the same soul group! And that this soul group's background is a good explanation for many things about them. Holy shit!

Aside from intergalactic wars, spaceships and parallel universes, I also learn about astral planes, curses, ghosts, etheric implants and all kinds of other wondrous stuff. I'm psyched.

Becoming a Soul Realignment practitioner is like entering a whole new world. I admit that I'm terrified!!! And also very, very excited. I can't wait to see what my practice clients will say when I'll explain to them what I found in their soul record, how this might affect their lives, and what they can do about it.

That too is damn scary. What if they totally don't relate to what I'm saying? Argh.

viernes, 13 de noviembre de 2009

I'm going to Norway!!!

I'm going to Norway! I'm going to Norway, lalala! *dances around, jumps and laughs*

I bought the tickets today. I got the intuitive nudge to do it and followed my impulse. It went so fast that I got scared afterwards, I was afraid I could have forgotten something. But it looks like there's nothing in the way. I even made sure that I have a valid passport!

I'm leaving in one week: on Saturday, November 21st.

I'm soooooo excited!!!!!!!!!

It's silly. I have traveled before. But this time, it's Norway. I mean, Noorrrwaaayyy. Every time I have heard the word "Norway" in the last nine or ten months, it felt like someone was touching my boobs.

Norway is such a heroic and fascinating country. They have an extremely sexy language. They have the vikings (my ancestors). And fjords, mountains and snow.

I feel drawn to Norway so powerfully and on such an instinctive level that I really wonder what's waiting for me there! It must be something incredible.

What's sure is that Víkþórr is waiting for me there. :-) And he is incredible. Also, there are a few more wonderful people there that I am thrilled to meet in person at last.

But it's more than all that. I don't know what it is, but I'm looking forward to it!

jueves, 12 de noviembre de 2009

Is it Safe to Trust Everybody?

I recently shared some useful beliefs. One of them was "I trust everybody". In a comment, lovely Andrew asked me if it is safe to have such a belief.

Yes, it is safe. It is safe because we are safe at all times, unless we make ourselves unsafe by choice.

If you ask me, I'd even say that we can only be fully safe if we fully trust.

Wondering if it is safe to trust everybody implies two things.

It implies that if someone deceives us, lies to us, doesn't keep their word, doesn't fulfill our expectations, lets us down, takes advantage of us, etc., in short, if someone behaves in a way that we think is not okay and breaks our trust, then this can actually hurt us. Nobody would wonder whether it is safe or not to trust others if safety were not an issue, so this implies that other people's actions have the power to seriously affect us.

It also implies that the more you trust others, the greater the risk. Like, trusting a few people is safe, but everybody? Again, nobody would ask this question without the assumption that the more unconditionally you trust, or the more people you trust, especially without knowing them, the higher the probability that you could get hurt.

I disagree with both of these assumptions.

Other people's actions cannot hurt me unless I allow them to do so. I know that I am the creator of my own feelings and that I am free to choose how I react to whatever situation shows up in my life.

Seen this way, even when others break my trust and deceive me, lie to me, let me down or take advantage of me and so on, I still have the choice to let this affect me, or not. In case shit happens, I know I can take it. Therefore, trusting others is not any more risky than not trusting them. I am safe either way.

Besides, does shit never happen to people who don't trust others easily? I highly doubt that. In my experience, the contrary is the case. We see what we believe. When we are full of fear and believe that others are out to screw us over, then that is what tends to happen to us.

The probability of having shit happen to us is much higher when we are full of shit inside. Like attracts like. The more we let go of the fear and make the choice to trust, the lower the probability that we will be proven wrong. Trusting greatly contributes to our safety. There will be less shit inside that could attract the shit outside.

My "100% trust is default"-policy works great for me. I have found that the people in my life tend to be absolutely trustworthy and fair. I often get surprisingly much from them; more than I expect. I cannot even remember the last time I felt intentionally taken advantage of or deceived.

From time to time, someone unintentionally does something to me that I find is not okay. When this happens, I re-evaluate my relationship with them. I might completely let go of it, or reconfigure it, or just continue without changing anything. I do this only once something has happened, though. Why would I mistrust someone preventively? This is an absurd idea.

Some people believe that trust is something that one needs to build. Preferably slowly. Something that we need to earn by repeatedly proving our loyalty and reliability, before we get the privilege of being trusted. They believe that we should not trust people we don't know. More generally, we should not open up to or rely on anybody without being assured that we won't get hurt, disappointed or taken advantage of as a result. Like, let's not trust in order not to fall on our nose.

Such an attitude does not serve us. It's a way of trying to avoid risk by controlling our external life circumstances. Trying to control what we are scared of is futile. It just doesn't work.

Obviously, mistrusting others is by no means a guarantee that no shit will ever happen. If you let your well-being depend on other people's actions, you are fundamentally unsafe anyway, no matter how much or how little you trust others and no matter how well you succeed in avoiding opportunities to get challenged.

Trying to avoid risk means seeing ourselves as vulnerable and not trusting ourselves to be able to handle whatever we might get confronted with. That's a very weakening message that we send to ourselves.

The cautious attitude is based on lots of fears. These fears not only attract a lot of shit that would not happen to us if we didn't have the fears in the first place. They also prevent us from relaxing and opening up. They prevent love from flowing freely. The resulting feeling of connection to others is suboptimal. When you don't fully trust, you cannot fully love.

Only when we let go of control and fear and trust others unconditionally can we be open enough to experience love in all its warm magnificence. Are you ready for that? :-)

martes, 10 de noviembre de 2009

What is Fear?

Have you ever asked yourself what fear is exactly? Tonight, a wonderful person wrote on Facebook that "Fear is cancer of the mind". Got me thinking!

I believe that fear is not something that exists. It's only the absence of something that exists: love. Every time I experience fear, when I look deep inside, I can spot some lack of love somewhere. We get these anxious feelings and suffer when we are being disconnected from love. We call this state fear, but actually there is nothing to give a name to.

Fear is an impostor. Have you ever heard of these defenseless, harmless animals in the jungle who are able to mimic other, dangerous or poisonous species to impress their predators and avoid getting eaten? That's how I see fear too. It shows up wearing its disguise, like "Ho-ho-ho, I am the big bad wolf!!" and wants you to be scared. But the thing is, when you pull its beard instead of running away, it bursts like a bubble and dissolves! Poof!

Fear is an illusion. For a long time, I thought if I didn't listen to my fear, it would become reality. It was something like a superstition: "Oh my God, if I don't take it seriously, it will happen!". But I was wrong! When I tried it out, nothing happened at all.

Fear is a choice. Fear does a great job at trying to convince you that you'd better listen to it. It wants your attention and energy. However, you don't have to dwell on fearful thoughts. When they arise, you're free to say "No thanks!" and let go of them in peace. Fear would be delighted if you forgot this.

Even though fear feels ugly and repulsive, it just wants to be loved. Just like those masters of camouflage and mimicry in the jungle, behind its scary disguise fear is a cute, lovable creature. That's not surprising, since you are a cute, lovable creature, and fear is you.

Fear is just a particular state of being that we are in sometimes. It's an energy that we can create within ourselves and radiate, but also stop resonating with in a heartbeat - just like any other energy. We call it a negative energy because when we allow ourselves to engage with it, we block the flow of love through us and create disharmony in ourselves as well as in the world.

So, at this time I see fear as an energetic state of being, a choice, an illusion, an aspect of myself and ultimately a lack of love. What is fear according to you? :-)

jueves, 5 de noviembre de 2009

Choosing Who you Spend your Time with is Not a Love Issue

One of the beliefs I recently shared as a part of a successful mindset in social situations is that whether you choose to spend time with someone or not has nothing to do with how much you love them. It is a strategic time-management choice, not a love issue. Let's elaborate.

Some people associate loving someone, both in a romantic or non-romantic way, with wanting to spend time with this person. They also associate not spending any time with someone with not loving them.

I don't subscribe to this point of view. In my opinion, loving someone does not imply in any way that I spend time with them. And not spending time with someone does not imply in any way that I don't love them. There are people that I love and chose to throw out of my life completely. There are also lots of people that I love, yet never or almost never spend any time with. I don't love these people any less than those other people that I do choose to spend my time with. It is not a love issue.

Why is it a time-management issue?

When we have a specific goal, or when we simply grow and feel like bringing some new energy into our life, we tend to surround ourselves with people who already have reached that goal or already radiate this energy that we want. This can be done consciously, as a smart move. But most of the time, it just happens naturally. We automatically feel drawn to these people, maybe without even knowing why. It's only logical: they already have what we want. Their energy feels attractive to us because that's what we're looking for.

Such an intuitive attraction to these people is a good thing. By spending time with them, we learn from them. Most of all, over time our energy adjusts to theirs. They rub off on us.

Some of the people we love might not be in that place that we want to be in, or not radiate this energy that we want more of. We then tend to lose interest in spending too much time with them. This is natural. Their energy is not what we are looking for.

We might even feel that spending time with them holds us back. We influence each other energetically. The more we engage with someone, the more this reinforces the energies inside of us that resonate with their energy. It is difficult to create something new if our old energetic state is permanently being reinforced by the people we surround ourselves with.

Since we can only devote a limited amount of time to socializing, spending time with those people that we want to learn from vs. those that are no energetic match for us at this time is a time-management choice.

Why is it not a love issue?

Choosing not to spend our time with someone does not mean that we don't love them. It simply means that our energies are not very compatible at the moment.

An immediate example that comes to mind are smelly orcs who are abusive, violent, manipulative, or otherwise harmful to you. Kicking those out of your life is an elementary self-protection measure. Does it mean you should stop loving them? Certainly not. Everybody is lovable, including smelly orcs (or killers). You can love them, yet stop associating with them. You will still be connected to them whether you talk to them or not. You can send love to them, include them in your prayers if you do pray, have loving feelings towards them, and not talk to them. Why not?

Does choosing not to engage (too much) with someone mean that they are "not good enough" or "less lovable"? No, not at all. All energies are perfectly fine. Just because you want to create something specific does not mean that everything else is bad or wrong in any way.

For example, let's say that consciously or subconsciously you want to bring more authority into your life. I am all about love, compassion, oneness, kindness and so on. Maybe courage as well, but certainly not authority. Would it be smart of you to spend a lot of time with me? Noooo. Go away! Go see Steve Pavlina instead. You'll probably feel much more drawn to him than to me anyway.

If you feel strongly drawn to Steve and want to spend time with him instead of with me,

does it mean that I am less worthy or less interesting than Steve? No. It's just different energies. Your choice is based on what you want to create in your life and whom you feel intuitively drawn to. There is no space for judgment in that matter.
Does it mean that you don't love me? No. You can very well love me and spend your time with someone else. This is no contradiction.
Does it mean that you should feel guilty for shunning my company? No. Your spending your time with someone else simply shows that I don't radiate the energy that you feel attracted to right now. This means nothing bad about me. And, if I have a life outside of you, which should be the case anyway, then I do perfectly fine with or without you.


Why is associating love with spending time together a crappy idea?

Choosing to spend your time with the people you are already used to and clinging to them no matter what out of sentimentalism, even though you would naturally feel more drawn to other people, puts you into a place of resistance that will block you in your growth. Choosing to dissociate love from spending time together allows you to go your own path without disconnecting emotionally from others. Disconnection creates suffering.

Associating love with spending time together makes love conditional and kills its beauty. Like, "if you love me, you will spend time with me.". Ugh. Where's the freedom? If the people you love also love you, they want the best for you. If the best for you is to spend your time with someone else, they will accept it. Expecting someone to spend time with you if they love you is not loving them. It's your ego trying to possess and control them. Which is impossible.

Spending time with people because you feel that you should do so if you love them, or in order not to hurt them, is highly disrespectful both towards yourself and towards them. How could that be love?

Just two days ago, I had a chat with a friend of mine. He walked away, saying that he couldn't stand my energy. I really like that! I appreciate his honesty and his ability to make clear choices for himself. That is admirable. I also very much appreciate that he trusts me to be able to deal with him walking away without taking responsibility for my feelings. I don't feel less loved by him now. On the contrary.

Let's be flexible!

Relationships can smoothly fade in and out of our lives and in again, depending on how we resonate with each other at any given time. We stay connected at all times anyway. All this only becomes a drama when the ego steps in and considers it an intolerable insult that someone else would be "preferred" over ourselves.

People change. The ones that are not compatible with you right now can become a good energetic match for you in the future. They can evolve and start radiating different energies. You can evolve and suddenly feel attracted to their energy. Or both of this can happen. One never knows.

And what if someone's energy never becomes compatible with yours again? Well, so be it. Let them go in peace. You can love each other and not have any contact in this lifetime. Trust your loved ones to be fine without you in their physical life.

What does love mean to you?

The above is just how I see it. If you think that loving someone has to imply spending time with them, or that if someone does not spend any time with you, they don't really love you, ask yourself what loving someone truly means to you.

Does it come from your soul or from your ego?

Is it love, or is it fear and attachment?

What are the conditions for you to believe that someone loves you?

What does it imply for you to love someone?

And does any of the above necessarily require that you spend time together?